excerpts from a broken heart #1

i was going through some old stuffs yesterday and found some remnants of my once mutilated heart. and here is one of the broken piece.

Life or shall I say love is really mocking me these days… for weeks now, I have been suffering from recurrent heartaches from a guy who in fact has never been mine.

I just had the greatest dream of my life about him last night, and it felt so real…so real that I can feel his touch and even smell him. Until now I can still feel the passion of his embrace, the way he held my hand telling me I’m his and the way he looked at me—so intense. In my dream he made me feel so special more than he used to back then.

When I woke up, I was definitely not in the wrong side of the bed. I started my day right, but not until I took a shower when it dawned on me that it was just a dream… Then reality sank in and my misery started. Yes, it felt real, but it was just a dream, and will only be a dream. It hurt so badly. I felt my heart shattered.

I know that whatever it is that we have, was really not meant to be and I accepted that fact from the day we last saw each other. But the pain still lingers. I really want it over and done with, but I just don’t know how

Let me just huff something about this guy. Aside from the fact that he has a cool taste of music, really musically inclined, which by the way is a major turn on. I don’t know if he is naturally extra sweet and caring, not to mention his undeniable charm, wit and humor that instantly made me fall head over heels crazy for him, coz if he is, then my bad—I was really caught off guard. But something tells me that he was just leading me on, and if he did, then I was so stupid not to notice. If only I could’ve been wiser, then I wouldn’t be suffering from this tormenting pain. Oh well, I guess this crap would make me stronger and help me with my struggle in all sorts of heartaches that I still have to experience anyway.

It’s getting late and am about to go to bed. I just hope this time my dreams will come true though. Sweet dreams!